So I'm walking along Main Street and I hear this scream come from a dimly lit alley. Being the responsible caring citizen that I am I just have to investigate. Only to find shock horror at a completely disturbing sight.
An old lady getting mugged and beaten up with her own walking frame!!! I had to do something about it, I couldn't just walk past and let this happen. So I removed my tie, rolled up my sleeves and gave my bag to my friend to hold onto and took action. I called out to the three punks "what the hell are you doing?"
They stopped beating the lady and yelled out to me "F*** off pimpsqueak." which enraged me so I flying ninja kicked one of them in the back of the head. Little did I know that I had knocked down their leader which had made the other two run off screaming for their mummies at the sight of my awesomeness. The man got up rubbing his head after the sheer force of my flying ninja kick. The man picked up a piece of conveniently place 4x2 and threw it at me. Fortunately it flew over me as I ducked and hit my friend knocking him out in the process (which is why he can't confirm that this happened.) I then charged at him, but before I could reach him he had pulled a revolver out from under his blazer and was firing it at me! Subconciously I ran up along the wall as all the bullets narrowly missed me. I leapt from the wall onto his shoulder and dug my thumbs into his eyesockets. He then threw me off his shoulders through a wall. After being knocked out for a few seconds I picked myself up and tore my shirt of to reveal my bulging 6 pack (now it's just become absurd) I ripped open a locker inside this building and put straps of ammo on my shoulders and grabbed a conveniently loaded machine gun. I turned around and there was the man standing at the hole in the wall. I pulled back the safety and was gutted to find he was also holding a machine gun. I dived behind a desk and fired through a gap at the bottom of the desk at him. I leaned up to get a glimpse over the desk and there he was hiding behind a filing cabinet. He turned around and fired at me, so I fired back. I was trapped, there was only one way I was going to get out, so I did it. I dived through the glass out of a second story window onto the top of Mr Lee's old Daihatsu. and hid behind it. I fired a few rounds into the office hoping I'd get him. But then I saw him at the other side of the car park with a machette. "Bullshit" I thought as I dropped my gun and crouched into position. I felt my hands warm up as he came charging at me with the machette. I yelled the words and pushed my arms out....and Super sayaned (I know it's spelt wrong) him. He flew right through town onto the hill. He was dead.
The old lady then came up and thanked me ffor saving her life and bought me McDonalds :D
No comments:
Post a Comment