The quarter-pounder effect.

So as I am standing in some strange store this afternoon with 3 of my friends browsing at the vast range of Chocolate nipple cream and fluffy handcuffs. (Yes, I am straight) I start to crave McDonalds, so walking into the flashest building in Upper Hutt I remember the ads of a man doing man shit while carrying a quarter pounder. Now I am a sucker for advertising, and apart from the massive thing that defines what a male is (you know what I'm talking about) I'm quite lacking. My ability to grow quite possibly the world's most pathetic facial hair is one thing (although I was completely stoked when I discovered I had about 3 chest hairs the other day), I also possibly have the world's shyest muscles (I can assure you they are there, although yet to be seen), one thing I do have though is the ridiculously extreme horniness of the average male. So standing there having my mini epiphany I decide to buy the 'man burger'- the quarter pounder as well as a Cheeseburger for my cheap ass friend at http://whatadaywithdj.blogspot.com/ (free advertising D.J. you heard of Karma?) I rip into the packaging like any man would and hold that Quarter Pounder in my firm grasp above my shoulder and point. I didn't feel like more of a man, I felt like a dick! Now, feeling bitterly disapointed and with fat dripping into my hand from the patty (mmmmm appetising) I gouge down the quarter pounder and realised, no man would hold a Quarter pounder all day without eating it. He'd get a sore arm mainly, even Sylvester Stallone. But a true man would gouge down this combo without giving a second thought to his expanding waistline (again something that I don't seem to have, but I'll keep this one thanks) so I let out a big "stuff you advertising" in my head and caught my ridiculously expensive bus (yes, I'm still bitching about that) home and ate some leftover Quiche (Again, yes I am straight).