A tribute to Bacon

hello followers!!!!!!!!!! How awesome was it saying that!!! I felt like a god or something :)

Anyway, it's the holiday's which of course means late nights and late mornings, being a lazy motherfucker and of course.....Jeremy Kyle. Yes Jerry I'm back! You can be sure I will be religiously sitting on the couch watching the shit go down on your show. I'll go 'oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh' when you sit down on that step of yours. I'll lean forward in anticipation when you open the envelope for the lie detector test, I'll be cheering and applauding when you tell someone to 'shut the fuck up' and I'll be clicking my fingers like a ghetto black woman and going 'oh no he didn't' when you kick somebody off the stage. But Jeremy Kyle (why is this show not on at nights!!!) isn't the only thing I'll be having too much of these holidays (no it's not alcohol either. I promise I'll go easy...well I can't really make promises now can I?) I will be having a shitload of...............BACON.  You know when the cookie monster (and Mike) go "COOOOOOOOKKKIIIIIIEEEE?" well I'll be like that except I'll be like "BAAAAACCCCCCCOOOOOONNNN!!!" I plan on eating a whole farm of pigs these holidays, not even that cute little thing on Winnie the pooh is safe from my appetite. I plan on eating so much of this beautiful gift from the gods that I'll need a heart bypass by the time term two comes around.......let's face it. No matter how much I eat I'll still be a lanky mother fucker. Well anyway, 

Bacon I salute you!

PS. Ingenious idea: Eating Bacon while watching Jeremy Kyle! I can't wait!!!!